Discover Yourself

Some people could spend their entire lives walking about with a perfect stranger zipped up within their own skin. Discover yourself. 

Before, I had to convince myself that everything was alright and that I was happy being wrapped up in the typical events of life. Now, I've stepped beyond the cliche of christian phrases and truly know God as my source for everything. I can't even breathe without my Jesus.

He's my love. My life. 

He is everything.

Ask Him to reveal Himself to you too. I promise He will.

Chase His heart, He'll let you catch it.

End of one Journey.. beginning of another :)

I've come to the end of my journey. What an extraordinary adventure it has been. First and above everything else, I've grown deeper and fuller in my relationship and love for God. He and I have been on a sort of honeymoon together in all of this. He has laughed with me, calmed my nerves when I was stepping into new territories and relationships, broken my heart with raw, organic tears for the nations and met me unfailingly in every moment when I simply said His name.

Second, I've discovered without question the heroes of the world in their fullest entirety. The missionaries of SOS do everything with a spirit of excellence. They live off of the joy and drive found in their disciples, bury their faces in the floor in intercession for the people of Bulgaria, Sweden, Ethiopia and Thailand, chase after signs and miracles as evidence of God's power and proof of His life, rejoicing in all things, become exactly like the people they are trying to win to Jesus and give of their hearts, minds, spirits, souls, bodies, time and finances without hesitation while always carrying the heart of the Father inside each step along the way.

Because of them, lives and eternities are being altered. Because of them, people are transformed from lies to truth, darkness to light. Because of them, Jesus can walk through the streets of the Universe, embodied as His Spirit working mightily within and then overflowing out. Because of them, God has tools in His hands for the work of His masterpiece and ultimate plan.

It's because of God's great hand and their enormous obedience that I desire to now walk in their shadows, linking arms with them in this harvest of the end times, this fight for life, this blessed commission.

"Let the Children come to Me.."

Have you ever ached so deeply in your heart over something that you thought it would never beat again without the weighty pressure of a thousand bricks hanging over it? Have you ever been so desperate and helpless, searching for an answer but unable to do anything and then feeling responsible for invisible results? Have you ever seen children neglected and laying out to die as if nothing were wrong?

I will never forget January 28. Late in the afternoon, just as the sun was becoming more yellow and casting it's long beams across the waving palms and dusty roads, I took my motorbike out to a village on the outskirts of Khon Kaen with Jenny and Andreas. We were planning to visit a family that apparently had three sick children, an autistic mother and a manipulative grandmother. However, there were no preparation stories that could have truly made my eyes and heart ready for what I was to encounter. 

As I walked toward the home, I saw a tiny handmade hammock on the street in front of the house, dangling in the open air. Walking closer, I saw an awkward hand reaching out and then heard the saddest moaning come up from a little three year old boy. His face lit up when he saw me but there was such a desperation in his body. He didn't even know how to lift up his head and when I reached for his hand, his unused and untrained crippled fingers couldn't even grip my touch. He laid there with only a sheer, red, sleeveless shirt covering his body and his skeleton-like bottom settled on the blackened fabric from all the waste he's been laying in for who knows how long. Tears immediately pierced my eyes but I choked them back, understanding that I was probably the only person to love on him and not wanting that precious moment to be soaked with sadness, so I smiled and stroked his face as he foamed at the lips and tensed his body like he wanted to get up and run, saying "hello handsome" in the sweetest tone I could manage while watching his eyes glitter to the attention. Other local village kids ran around, trying to steal my focus but I could hardly notice them. They even came up and shouted angrily at the boy in the hammock like he was some stray dog or inhumane nuisance. Was it always like that?

I stood, bracing myself, and entered further into the home. There was another hammock in the entrance, cradling a bundle of such fragile bones that I thought they would snap if I even tried to hold them. An eight year old boy fidgeted inside, trapped not only in the fabric of his resting place but also by the infant-like form of his body that had never been given the chance to grow beyond tiny whimpers, a limp neck and clenched fists. His eyes were big and screaming, "Help me! Please save me from this hell and give me hope!"

Next to him sat his autistic mother with her third child crying in her arms. He didn't cry typical childish tears for food or pacifiers though. His cry was painful through his yellow-like skin and blue shirt which had turned a brown color on top from vomit and drool. As his mother smiled for my photos, naive to the state of life she or her family was in due to her own childlike and autistic mind, he hung half naked from her arms. I was shocked. Every fiber of my being wanted to take those children, hold them, teach them to walk, sing to them when they cry, kiss their wounded souls. All I could do though was weep. And I did. 

I don't know how to end this post other than to say "to be continued.." Please pray that the heart of the family will soften and they will recognize that these children need immediate help. The mother and grandmother both suffer from mental illnesses and the father is too controlled by them to step up and do anything about the children. 

The Bible says, "from the mouth of infants I have ordained My praises.."

This boy is eight years old..

Thailand Cowboy Party!

Last week, about 100 Thai and other Asian students and families gathered together at our mission base in Khon Kaen for a "Cowboy Party"! It was an incredible night of fellowship over shish-kabobs, rice-sack races, live music and line dancing! Before leaving we also presented the message of the gospel and gave an invitation for people to receive Jesus. Many new believers have begun coming to the church from this outreach and several have already been baptized and filled with Holy Spirit!!

I even got to preform "Life is a Highway" with Peter! It's so fun to be a missionary!

House Church

Last week I had the honor of preaching for a house church here in Khon Kaen. About 17 Thai and other Asian university students and families gathered on mats for dinner in a local village before we joined together in worship. Tears were streaming down some of the people's faces as the sweet presence of Holy Spirit filled the atmosphere. I shared from Nehemiah 4 about when the walls of Jerusalem were being built and the people were carrying tools in one hand and weapons with the other.. that's still happening today. Ephesians tells us about how we're being built around Jesus as our cornerstone and just one page later, we're in a spiritual fight. Then I shared about the authority that we carry as children of God and by the end of the night, we were all crying out and declaring things in the kingdom as God directed us. It was so good! I love when Holy Spirit shows up and shows off!

The Love of God

Complete contentment and happiness in life is nothing compared to the love of God.

Contentment in all it's fullness is powerful, making a person confident, fulfilled and limitless. Able to just 'be'. And simply 'being' is a task that generations have yet to conquer. We have all been found guilty of striving, achieving, obtaining. 'Being' is beautiful. It fits us like no other state of mind or life could be tailored to. 'Being' is a matter of choosing today and not yesterday, not tomorrow. 'Being' means acceptance. Acceptance of situations. Acceptance towards people. Acceptance of bad and even of good. 'Being' is peace. It's an unsurpassable, unpredictable, incomprehensible ability to rest in wind, rest in rain, rest in sun and rest in storms.

Even this though, with all of the power it beholds cannot come close to the love of God.

Happiness is life-giving. It comes both easily and with great difficulty. Good coffee could make a person happy, so could a restored relationship, a new relationship, traveling, gifts, beauty.. the list continues forever. 

Even this happiness is nothing next to God's love. 

Love, His love, completely transforms lives. It forgives, renews, justifies, frees, disciplines, gives. Words just can't seem to embrace the magnitude of the love of God. I feel it in an instant, no matter where I am. It sits heavy on my chest and shoulders, making me just want to cry. And I do.

God's unconditional love sustains me. It carries me. It impacts eternities through me. It assures me that I can do all things. It makes me walk with my head held high when I need to and then at other times causes me to curl up on the floor like a child, because I need that too.

The love of God is perfect. Timeless.

The work here in Khon Kaen, Thailand is going incredibly. Yesterday I was able to lead a sweet woman to baptism in Holy Spirit out in a village and tonight I'll be preaching for a cell group of Thai and Chinese disciples. The SOS missionaries are wonderful too. I'm so blessed and in love with Jesus!

When the events of your day begin to mirror the pages of Acts, you're finally living.

Hello everyone!

I can't even express how much my spirit is bursting out here in the nations. I'm so in love with Jesus. I spent the last month in Ethiopia without internet access.. so please forgive me for not being able to update you.

Africa stole every piece of my heart. It was stunning. Breathtaking. Like a dream. As my plane came near landing in the beginning of December, I could see wild camels in the distance and almost choked myself with excitement! I knew then that this would be an adventure to change my life as well as the lives of many others. 

The flat sandy deserts are speckled with deep green bushes and tall trees with flat tops swaying in the dry, hot breeze. Every night I was lulled to sleep by the yelping of hyenas and the angry barks of responding stray dogs. Actually, I even fed these fiercely ugly and wild beasts raw meet from a short stick in my mouth! You truly are a God-adventurer when you feel the breath of hyenas upon your face!

The people though especially capture your heart. It only takes an instant and suddenly you realize that the very core of your bosom is no longer beating in your chest but out on the infested sidewalks, wrapped around the faces of the young and old. The eyes of the children open with enormous anticipation at the simple sight of your white face as they shout out all the English words they know all at once in hopes of gaining some sort of attention from their own personal celebrities. Every person you pass holds a special key that spins continuously within the lockets of your mind until all you can do is open doors of wonder deep within, the kind of doors that never close and make you forever abandoned to an eternal fascination of the people that are held within the very caverns and crevasses of the world. 

The base in Ethiopia is truly pioneer. Samuel went alone from Sweden in August of 2008 to find a home and was soon met by 4 other SOS missionaries. Since then, in only four months, they are training up disciples in church meetings on Saturday and Sunday nights as well as in follow-up meetings during the week. Over 30 people have been baptized in water and many others in the Holy Spirit! During the week of Christmas, 5 young guys were saved and desired to be baptized the next day.. we had no water at our compound though, so many people spent the morning carrying jugs of "wuha" to our gate and we created a home-made baptismal out of tarp, benches and a few bricks! It's so fun to pioneer with Jesus and see lives changed! Our church in Harar, Ethiopia is called "Church of Joy" and it truly is.

The streets of Harar are filled with homeless people. Like I've never imagined. It was hard to hide my tears sometimes. Orphans run around and sleep in the middle of the sidewalks, naked cripples lie everywhere and others with deformed faces just sit all day begging. Many had brought their children up to me, asking that I take them home and give them a better life. I just kissed them and smiled and tried to be strong while every fiber of my being was desiring to grab them and run.

The best times for me happened when I was alone in my room with Jesus or out late at night starring at the diamond stars with my Best Friend. I'm truly on a honeymoon with God. I wouldn't trade this for anything. I even had the opportunity to preach for a women's group! I shared about who God is personally, our identity in Him and the power of our words. Hallelujah!

God did many deeps things within me while in Ethiopia. I can hardly breathe when I think about His kingdom sweeping through that land. 

It's hard to sum up the events of an entire month in a foreign land for a simple blog. Please meet me with me when I come home and I'll spill all of my heart out for you... or you could just read my book :)

Now I'm in Thailand. The sun is hot, the flowers are riveting, the stronghold of Buddhism is thick, the people are breathtaking and the ground is fertile for God to do some mighty things! It's nice to be in familiar territory, this is my fourth time in Asia. I love you all so much and look forward to bringing these nations back home to you! Continue to pray for me. I'm dreaming up new things daily for the future and couldn't be where I am, experiencing all that I have without you.

First Baptism!

This is Sylvia, one of the Bible students in Bulgaria. She's so beautiful and passionate about Holy Spirit. What a gift! We went to the hot springs last week to baptize these two women from a local village. Jesus is so amazing. How did I get here??

Sweden is beautiful. I'm being treated like royalty and trying my best to soak up all that I can from these magnificent headquarters of SOS. God has really given me a special grace for this trip.

Pray for strength and stamina. It's exhausting out here at times, always soaking and learning and going.. I'm being taken into new elements though with my Jesus and wouldn't trade it for the world!

Love Love Love You!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I love you profusely and will be thanking God for you all as I eat airplane food with strangers on my way to Sweden! I'll be there for one week.. going to the Bible school, meeting with leaders, attending Johannes' "Evangelism Days".. it will be wonderful. Then I'm off to the Safari-lands of Africa for Christmas and New Years! 

Be blessed today. God is so good.

I love Bulgaria

It's going to be very sad to leave this Thursday. I'm in love with Bulgaria. In love with the people. The villages. The kids. The missionaries. My amazing leaders. My friends. My new sisters. Tomato sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Everything. 

On to new things. New people. New experiences. New sights. 

I am missing my family though and can't believe I'm in the nations again on Thanksgiving for the second year in a row! God's always faithful and always in control. I love Him.

These are some kids from a village nearby.. precious.

Greece

Greece was incredible. I cried the moment I looked out over the city lights.. feeling the presence of God so powerfully. Walter and Linda blessed me incredibly with this trip, all I could do was ask myself "How did I get here?". God amazes me. We stayed in a hotel in the city of Kavala which is ancient Neapolis (the city Jesus and the apostles sailed in to on many occasions). I read Philippians while looking out over Philippi and could hardly contain myself. This is where the first church of Europe was started, and from here it literally went to America and the world! Now, it's hard to find one Holy Spirit-filled church in the city. I can't wait for the gospel to come full-circle. How can people live without Jesus?

"I can do all things through Christ Jesus who gives me strength" was written for this place, along with "My God will supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus", "I am confident of this very thin, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus", "Rejoice in the Lord always!", "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus", "Finally brothers, whatever is true..", "For our citizenship is from heaven.."

 This is also where Jesus asked, "Who do people say that I am?".. the resounding question that still echoes through the brick streets, marble-laid villas and gardens. 

The soil is rich, full of spiritual minerals waiting to be taken ahold of. There are times when great tilling is necessary in order to lay the ground-work and foundation over certain areas but the foundation has already been laid in much of Greece, Turkey, Bulgaria and other surrounding areas. We just need to dig a little in order to see the brilliance and worth of what's already been planted by those who went before us. 

This is the Mediterranean Sea! Stunning. I also ate my first Gyro in Greece, I'm vegetarian though so I don't know if it really counts :) I have pictures from Paul and Silas' prison cell but I can't upload them because the internet in Bulgaria doesn't always work.. I'll try to get them up again soon. Love you all!

On my way to Philippi

I'm on my way to Philippi, Greece today! I'm so so so honored to walk in the same footsteps that my Jesus walked in.. and to see where incredible men and women of God preached the Word of God and saw miracles, signs and wonders!!!

Acts 16:12

From there we traveled to Philippi, a Roman colony and the leading city of that district of Macedonia. And we stayed there several days.

Matthew 16:12

When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?"

Acts 16:19-40

When the girl's owners realized that they had lost all chances for making more money, they grabbed Pail and Silas and dragged them into court. They told the officials, "These Jews are upsetting our city! They are telling us to do things we Romans are not allowed to do."

The crowd joined in the attack on Paul and Silas. Then the officials tore the clothes off the two men and ordered them to be beaten with a whip. After they had been badly beaten, they were put in jail, and the jailer was told to guard them carefully. The jailer did as he was told. He put them deep inside the jail and chained their feet to heavy blocks of wood.

About midnight, Paul and Silas were praying and singing praises to God, while the other prisoners listened. Suddenly a strong earthquake shook the jail to its foundations. The doors opened, and the chains fell from all the prisoners.

When the jailer woke up and saw that the doors were open, he thought that the prisoners had escaped. He pulled out his sword and was about to kill himself. But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! No one has escaped."

The jailer asked for a torch and went into the jail. He was shaking all over as he knelt down in front of Paul and Silas. After he had led them out of the jail, he asked, "What must I do to be saved?"

They replied, "Have faith in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved! This is also true for everyone who lives in your home."

Then Paul and Silas told him and everyone else in his house about the Lord. While it was still night, the jailer took them to a place where he could wash their cuts and bruises. Then he and everyone in his home were baptized. They were very glad that they had put their faith in God. After this, the jailer took Paul and Silas to his home and gave them something to eat. 

The next morning the officials sent some police with orders for the jailer to let Paul and Silas go. The jailer told Paul, "The officials have ordered me to set you free. Now you can leave in peace."

But Paul told the police, "We are Roman citizens, and the Roman officials had us beaten in public without giving us a trial. They threw us into jail. Now do they think they can secretly send us away? No, they cannot! They will have to come here themselves and let us out." When the police told the officials that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens, the officials were afraid. So they came and apologized. They led them out of the jail and asked them to please leave town. But Paul and Silas went straight to the home of Lydia, where they saw the Lord's followers and encouraged them. The they left.